The fictional world George R.R Martin has created sees to be a cruel and unforgiving domain. With blood and battles around every corner, each character prays that father George R.R, wielding his mighty quill, will grant them even an ounce of happiness. However, they’re usually beheaded and thrown into a lake before they can even finish their prayers.
Ah, the glorious grounds of Game of Thrones; gore, wargs, and wildlings abundant. The mythical land pits several noble leaders fighting tooth and nail for the Iron Throne, and the right to call themselves the king (or queen) of the Andals.
The map of the fantasy world resembles something of a newly post pangean earth, with some speculating that Westeros is just Great Britain turned upside down.The globe isn’t the only similarity that can be seen between our world and theirs, the all great Mr Martin has loosely based King’s Landing on a medieval United Kingdom, depicting this through the monarchical hierarchy; the peasants are terribly poor and the noble are extremely rich, there are very few in between.
The likeness between the two arena’s is undeniable, the author has clearly plucked traits from our present day to add a relatability factor with the modern audience. With many aspects of our realities being transferable, it makes us wonder how we would do if the roles were switched. Would I be Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch? Who would make the best Mother of Dragons? And would someone clear Peter Dinklage’s schedule so he could be Tyrion full time? It could also work vice versa. How would Jon Snow handle being a fireman? Would Daenerys become a zoologist specialising in Komodo dragons? And would someone clear Tyrion’s schedule so he could be Peter Dinklage full time?
What about real estate agents? This is a profession like no other, it requires equal amounts of suave, charisma and prowess to be successful. How would our Game of Thrones characters hold up?
We’ve sifted through the hundreds of wonderfully talented Game of Thrones persona’s and narrowed them to the five that we believe would make the best real estate agents. To measure the remaining five candidates, we’ll be ranking them on five characteristics imperative for all great real estate agents;
Our five finalist will be given a star rating for each category, dependant on evidence for them displaying that skill. For each characteristic there will be a maximum 5 star rating.
In no particular order, here are our five Game of Thrones Characters that would make great real estate agents.
Also, SPOILERS ALERT!
Petyr “LittleFinger” Baelish
Head of house Baelish, Petyr was previously Master of Coin, mostly because of his successful ring of brothels throughout King’s Landing. A hopeless romantic, who lost out on the love of his life – Catelyn – to the great Ned Stark.
Owner of the most manipulative tongue in Westeros, Lord Baelish could sell ice to an eskimo. While being a crook, Petyr has managed to talk his way into serving some of the most notable lords and kings through his time in King’s Landing. He even worked alongside the Queen mother, Cersei Lannister, who really trusts no one.
Despite his confident and suave demeanor now, Little Finger grew up with nothing. He came from humble, almost peasantry beginnings and worked his way up to become one of the most powerful and influential men in all of King’s Landing. Just imagine the climbing he could do on the property ladder.
Aside from being cunning, Lord Baelish is probably best known for his circle of brothels which have played host to the most noble of people in King’s Landing (I’m looking at you High Septon). While owning and successfully running such a business in King’s Landing is impressive enough, “Brothel Baelish” has opened several establishments across the whole of Westeros.
Nothing motivates Petyr more than power. While a motivation for power may not easily be transferred to real estate, it’s still admirable. He’s gone to great feats for a small taste of authority, from betraying Catelyn to pushing his own wife down the moon door (who had it coming). Regardless of the destination of his motivation, it’s undeniable.
Baelish has gotten into verbal battles with the best of them, always keeping his condescending cool. However, he hasn’t been the most reasonable of people. Yes, he managed to persuade Olenna – who hates Lord Baelish – to remove Jeoffrey from power, but it doesn’t go much further than this. Little Finger likes to get his way, usually at any cost and does not take lightly to those who go against him. Maybe house price negotiation isn’t for him.
The dwarf son of Tywin Lannister, the hated brother of Cersei Lannister and the funnily adored brother of Jaime Lannister. Tyrion is of royal blood but from the trials and tribunes in his life you wouldn’t think so. Constantly being discriminated against for his dwarfism, Tyrion has used his wit and charm to get himself where he needed to be, from the Hand to the King to the advisor of the great Khaleesi.
Due to Tyrion’s size he couldn’t fight his battles with his body, so he fought them with his words. This has given him one of the sharpest and most relatable minds in all of Westeros. He’s able to form allegiances with all sorts of people (and animals) from Jon Snow, to Jorah, to dragons. If talking to a dragon was easy, a house seller will be a walk in the park.
Despite his lack of fighting prowess, Tyrion has never once backed down from a challenge, notably his quest to prove his worthiness to his father. Tywin always resented Tyrion for being a dwarf, and being the result of his wife’s death during childbirth. Tyrion with a perpetual chip on his shoulder, did everything to earn the respect of his father which eventually led to him becoming Hand to the King.
Tyrion has only been able to display his organisational abilities when given the opportunity. At the Battle of Blackwater, Tyrion managed to lead an entire army to victory against Stannis’ advances. In Daenerys’ absence he gathered the leaders of the slave states which is leading to the eventual abolishment of slavery and the funding of the Son’s of the Harpy.
A very motivated man, when he wants to be. Tyrion thrives on his time spent advising Daenerys’ and has made some very inspiring speeches in his role, however, most of the time he would rather be drinking his day away in a brothel.
Tyrion has not only been able to talk his way into the good books of the powerful and noble, he’s been able to convince them to do as he pleases. When confronted by the feral tribesmen of the Vale, he not only convinced the men NOT to kill him but to serve him! If the feral tribesmen were not vicious enough, Tyrion saw a similar scenario where he persuaded dragons not to eat the help!
Now the late Tywin Lannister, in his heyday, he was the Lord of House Lannister and the richest man in the Seven Kingdoms. Before being struck off by his own son (we won’t say who, but it isn’t Jaime), he was one of the only men that Joffrey listened to and respected during his reign.
Tywin served as the Hand to the Mad King for nearly twenty years, a man who was true to his name and someone no one could get through to. Yet, The Mad King listened and heeded Tywin’s advice. He even became the unofficial ruler of the realm during the Mad King’s fall. If he was able to foster peace throughout Westeros, real estate would be a piece of cake.
Tywin was the son of Tytos Lannister – a man who almost ruined House Lannister. When Tywin took over, he was persistent in ensuring the Lannister house was brought back to its former glory by demolishing anyone who rebelled (most notably, the House Reyne of Castemere; house Reyne was eventually immortalised in the song “The Reynes of Castemere”, a song which was later associated with the Red Wedding.)
Tywin is undeniably organised, he was the head of House Lannister for a number of years, one of the most powerful houses in Westeros and he ensure they lived up to their name. In his time as head of House Lannister, he lead and won a war against the King of the North, before settling down to his cushy number, serving as the Hand to King Joffrey.
To Tywin, the Lannister name means everything. It is one of his only motivations in life to keep the Lannister house untarnished. This is illustrated through his constant quips to Tyrion being a disgrace of the name.
Tywin is responsible for the most dramatic slaughter in all the lands, just because he wanted it. Lannister, was able to convince Roose Bolton (one of the most sinister men you’ll ever meet) to orchestrate the Red Wedding.
Oberyn Martell aka The Red Viper of Dorne
Prince Oberyn, younger brother of Doran and Elia Martell, the Dornish native is well known for his exotic fighting techniques (usually accompanied by a poisoned blade, hence “Viper”) and boundless sexual appetite.
Oberyn is renowned for his charm, with his rolling r’s and hispanic tones he is one smooth talker. The Viper managed to talk himself onto the jury of Tyrion’s trials just because he could. Who couldn’t see Oberyn charming his way into a few sales?
Prince Oberyn’s sister, Elia, along with her two children were murdered in cold blood by The Mountain. Oberyn took the loss very badly and vowed that he would one day get revenge for his sister’s death. He waited and hunted for 17 long years for the opportunity and when it came, it ended badly.
Known to be very spontaneous, Oberyn has been seen shunning his responsibilities in Dorne and doing what pleases him in the short term. He originally planned to become a Maester but left the schooling as he quickly became bored and restless. Prince Martell may not be able to organise an open house but he sure could sell it to you.
Though Oberyn is very nonchalant about most things, what he does not joke about is his family. He took the murder of his family to heart (as anyone would) and let this be the driving force in his future. The one thing that truly mattered to him was avenging the death of sister, niece and nephew.
We’ve already mentioned the charm of the great tanned man, but how well does it work in negotiations? Oberyn once fought with Willas Tyrell in a battle that would leave Willas unable to walk again, however, Willa and Oberyn remain fast friends and relations between the Reach and Dorne are better than ever,thanks to Oberyn’s great negotiation skills and ability to charm Willas even after such an incident.
Margaery is the Queen Consort, initially through her marriage with King Joffrey, but then married his brother King Tommen following his death. Granddaughter of the ostentatious Lady Olenna Tyrell, she is said to be as beautiful as she is clever.
A real people person, Margaery has had no trouble talking things over with the poorest to the richest of men. This has been seen recently in her impromptu discussion with the High Sparrow where she seemed to be saying all the right things. Reasoning with the “almighty” High Sparrow was no easy feat, the general real estate public would be a breeze.
With the guidance of her grandmother, Margaery has always found her way back to the crown. In her young life she has married three different kings in the hope that she would be able to manipulate one to rule as she wanted. One of those kings was Joffrey Baratheon! Now that’s what I call persistence.
As most of her life has been sat by the side of a King, Margaery has not had much opportunity to show her organisational skills other than the odd charity event.
From a young age Margaery set out to be Queen, not only did she manage to do this once, she did it three times! Queen Margaery is highly motivated by the title “Queen” but also by the power that comes with it. The Tyrell’s do not trust the Lannisters and having Margaery marry into the family gives them leeway in all royal decisions.
As the crown has always been Margaery’s end goal, she’s had to convince a few people to get there. She was able to negotiate an alliance with Renly, even though she knew he was gay and made him aware of it, she persuaded Renly into taking her hand in marriage as she would be a suitable bride.